i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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