Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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