Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
