Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
