sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
