Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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