I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
