Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
What drink are we having for lunch?
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
