Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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