i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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