look no pants
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
splinters make it hard to masturbate
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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