I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
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