for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Randomize
