Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Randomize
