At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
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