this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
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