I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
So much Jack, so little girl.
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