Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
All the doctor said was why
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
