OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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