sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Randomize