This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
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