My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize