Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
