Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Just invented taco cereal.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize