Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
