try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
