I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I wear drunk well.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
