Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
