I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Randomize