...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
either way he was missing a nipple.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
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