he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Randomize
