so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
