he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
vagina is talking i cant
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
