Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
As shirtless as possible
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Randomize
