I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Sext me about skeletons
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Randomize
