omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
