i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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