He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
