i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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