I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
