C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize
