Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
you are never too drunk for berry picking
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize
