y did u give ur computer a hand job?
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
