I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
