even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Randomize
