didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
id be glad to
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
