So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
