You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
