I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
