I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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