so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
