why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
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