that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
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