So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize