We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
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