The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
