i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
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