oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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