I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Randomize
