i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
