Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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