doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
